Love Illogical

“Hey dude, what are you doing? Are you planning to commit suicide?” a voice startled me. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was a tall sturdy woman in her early twenties, pitch black eyes, wheatish complexion, athletic body and a confused look on her face. “Stop ogling at me. I just wanted to say, if you take a plunge from here you won’t die, you will just lose a hand or a leg or both, due to the rocks. You should consider taking a plunge from the other end of the bridge; you will land directly in water, and considering you don’t know swimming, since you’re planning a suicide, you will drown in about 45 minutes. “I was dumfounded.”Okay, best of luck. Got to go now.” She said and started jogging.

I went behind her, “Are you mentally ill? I wasn’t thinking of committing suicide; and if I was, shouldn’t you stop me?” I said. “No, I am perfectly sane. Why should I stop you? You’re a fully grown adult. You seem sane, and by your responses you seem to have an average IQ; so you’re capable of taking your own decisions. And, since you were no committing suicide I see no rational explanation of us having this conversation. Sorry, for intruding whatever you were doing, with your arms spread. Have a good day. “She said and ran off.”Unbelievable!” I thought.

A week later, I saw her sitting at a coffee shop. “Hey there, remember me?” “Umm… Yeah the suicide guy.” “Well, I don’t like to be misunderstood. I was just embracing the mother nature. That’s what I was doing. I was thinking deeply. You should ask a person, before concluding anything.” “Okay” “Okay?” I was startled. “I get your point. You have a valid rational point. However, I wasn’t wrong either, any normal person would think in the lines of what I did. Also, I don’t understand why do you need to spread your arms to think. I believe you just have to concentrate to think, but yes, if you’re meditating then your actions have a valid reasoning.” “Do you ever listen to yourself?” “I do; why do you ask? Technically speaking…” “Are you insane? Can’t you talk normal? ” “I am talking normal. If I wasn’t, due to some impairment then you would….” “You’re unbelievable!” After a long pause, she said  “I will take that as a compliment.” I smiled at that. “My name is Vihaan.” “I am Ananya. You’re an interesting personality.” She said. “So are you, ma’am. What do you do for a living.” “I am a computer engineer. How about you?” “That explains. I am a writer. Currently writing for a magazine, but soon planning to pen down a book.” I said. “Fascinating. I have never met a writer.” “Now you have.” She smiled, and at that moment I found my muse. “Vihaan, sorry to break the conversation, but I have a date.” “Sure. It was nice meeting you Ananya. We should do this again, some day.” “Sure. This is my card.” and the numbers were exchanged.

We became good friends over the years. She used to call me whenever she was stuck in her coding; she thought that irrational approach to certain things did solve problems at times, and that’s when I used to come into the picture. I used to call her whenever I had a writer’s block. Her rants about rationalism and technicalities used to awaken the writer inside me. “Ananya, what do you love in life?” “Love is a very strong term. I don’t think I love anything so crazily. However, I like many things in life, like this perfectly brewed coffee.” “Umm… Okay, let me rephrase. What makes you happy?” “When I resolve a bug in the code, when I am challenged in math, when my mom makes my favorite malpua. All these things make me happy. “I smiled at her, but was a bit disappointed; I wanted to hear my name. Ananya, kept dating men that intrigued her, but none could please her beyond two dates. As for me, I was stuck at Ananya. I didn’t expect anything. I was happy where I was. I don’t know If I made her happy in anyway, but she sure did,in every other way.

“Vihaan get ready fast. We will get late.” “Give a man some time, will you?” It was my first book signing. My book had gained a lot of attention, more than I had fathom. “Woah! Someone is looking handsome tonight. ” I was startled; Ananya had never complimented me before. “Merci, Madame.” Ananya had her famous confused look, which I loved. We reached our destination. “Vihaan! Finally you’re here. I thought you would never come. Let’s go, people are going nuts. ” Shahana, my publisher dragged me holding my hand. I glanced at Ananya, she had a look which I couldn’t recognize. Book signing was a great success according to my publisher. I was happy, that she was happy. My true happiness was standing at the bar stranded.  In all this mess, I forgot how beautiful she was looking. I had never seen her dressed up so elegantly. “How cruel a man must be who left this beautiful lady all by herself?” “Who man… Oh, is this one of your complicated writer-ish pick up line? ” “Ha-ha…” I laughed. “Your publisher is pretty.” “Are you kidding me? She is HOT.” I said, and she had that look on her face again. She didn’t say a word to that comment. This was not normal; Ananya always had something to say. “Vihaan!” Shahana called me. “I’ll be back in a minute.” I said and left. After a couple of minutes when I returned she was gone. I went out, I could not find her. I called her; she told me she was at the jogger’s park. I went there hurriedly. “Ananya!” “I am here.” She screamed standing on the exact spot where we had first met. “You were right, spreading arms with eyes closed does calm you. But…” “Are you insane? Why did you come here alone, at this hour?” “I came here to find some rational answer.” “What?” I was fuming. “I felt anger emotions when I saw you with your publisher. I have no clue, why. Hence…” I was taken aback by her answer. So that’s what the look was, she was jealous. I looked at her, arms wide spread, eyes closed. I was madly in love with her. I caught her arm, turned her towards me, holding her by her waist. She had my favorite confused look. I kissed her confused forehead.”You, don’t have to be.” “I don’t have to be what?” I looked at her for a very long time.”Jealous” “No I don’t think…” “Sshhh…” I kept my finger on her lips, disallowing her to ruin the moment. I touched her face and kissed her on lips as softly as I could. She was looking at me, not confused, but in desire. I kissed her again more passionately this time, and after some reluctance she gave in to her emotions.

It had been a year, and I was going to propose her on her birthday. Everything was planned and rehearsed. I reached her house, only to find her gone. She had left; I don’t know where, I don’t know why. Her friends didn’t know, nobody knew. My muse had gone, so did the writer inside me. A year later, two days back, I received a letter, ‘There’s one thing I love like crazy. That’s you‘ It was signed as, ‘yours only, Rational Muse’. I smiled and tears rolled down. I was happy. I don’t know if she would ever return, but I was happy. I then decided to write again, in the hope of finding her someday again, through my books.


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