It was my last night at home; last time to call my bed, ‘MY BED’. This realization shook me to my core. Everything was about to change from the next day, I always knew that, but at that moment I understood what that actually meant. It was 1.00 am, way past the sleeping time of my house, but I knew nobody was sleeping. Nobody was crying, yet everyone was weeping. I was going to United States of America for studies, the next day.
I’ve been brought up in a joint family, and being the second girl in the family after 3 boys, I was pampered a lot (girls in my family are loved more than boys, sweet truth). When I was born, all my cousins were nearly 5 to 6 years older, so I was pampered and loved dearly. I still remember the times when my friends used to mess with me, and I used to threaten them with, ‘mere bhaai ko bulaungi.’ We all cousins were so close that I didn’t know what, ‘cousins’ meant; for me, they were my brothers, and sisters.
Anyway, coming back to the present day; we now, no longer stayed in one big house, however stayed close enough to hop to each other’s house at anytime. My ‘whole’ family was going to come to drop me at the airport. Everyone came to my house for the last minute baggage checking. Like all times, cousins and uncles cracked jokes and made me laugh, to make it a bit easier for me. We clicked few pictures, and then dad said, ‘it’s time’. I took blessings of everyone, hugged everyone, and told myself that I won’t cry. I’m a kind of a person who does not cry easily in front of people. Everyone wished me luck. I started towards the door, everyone were behind me. I was just one step away, and at that very moment, I couldn’t feel my heartbeat. I didn’t know what was happening; whatever it was, I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t want to take any more steps, I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE MY HOME. I felt someone’s hand on my back that brought me back to reality, this was my reality. I had to step out. I didn’t want to cry, but I just couldn’t push back the tears. Seeing me, everyone started crying, I cursed myself for that. Yet, wasn’t strong enough to impede them; and with a big lump in my heart, I started towards my journey.
The ride to the Airport was the worst ride I ever had. My mind had stopped thinking, my heart was weeping. We reached the airport, and luckily we were before time, so that gave me some time to regain normalcy. We all joked, posed for pictures and talked endlessly. My niece kissed me several times, and kept telling me, “I’ll take care of everyone; don’t you worry. However, come back soon.” I hugged her, I didn’t know how else to respond. I wanted time to stop at that very moment; I didn’t want to leave these people. Only if, things happened as we wished. This wasn’t a movie, this was my life, and nobody was going to stop me. My dad handed me the baggage trolley, and guided me ahead. The tears, yet again, came rolling down. I couldn’t understand, crying never came easily to me; and then it struck me, because these were my people, people I loved the most and cared the most. I felt so many hands on my back. It felt as if, they were passing all their strength to me. I started walking, and then all of a sudden, I couldn’t feel any hand. I had never felt that alone ever, before that moment. I turned back; saw my dad, who as always, held a straight face. Everyone was crying, but he wasn’t. He was, is and would always be my strongest man. I went to him and hugged him, and heard his heart weep. I don’t know why, but that gave me strength. I looked at him, smiled and walked ahead. I crossed the airport gates, I waved them a good-bye, and then suddenly, the door shut. I was left alone.
I’m sure that I won’t cry that much at my wedding, as much I had, when I left for U.S. At your wedding, you will have someone who will hold your hand, someone who will tell you that everything will be okay, and someone who will wipe your tears. I just had myself, that day. It was the saddest day of my life. I always complained that, people always leave me. However, that day, I was leaving people, and that hurt, even more.
(Maybe you are thinking that I’m exaggerating my emotions, but the truth is, I felt worse than what I have expressed. Maybe, some people would not relate to my experience, but then every individual is not the same. This is what I felt. Yes, I’m an emotional person)
P.S. People who’ve followed my articles/stories would know it well, that this can’t be the ending. There’s a lot more to, ‘From IST to PST’ stay with me to know more. I BEG YOU! Next part will be updated next week, I PROMISE!